Getting Back Your Ex-Girlfriend

You miss her. You can’t stop thinking about her, this special woman who is no longer part of your life. How do you go about getting back your ex-girlfriend? Certainly there is something you can do.

The dilemma faced by a number of men is how to rekindle their relationship with that unforgettable girl, and there is no simple answer.

Your options are governed by a number of concerns, not the least of which is why she broke up with you in the first place. Were you unfaithful, inattentive, or didn’t share the same interests, or were you just plain boring?

All of these are huge obstacles, but none of them is insurmountable. There had to be something that drew you together in the first place and you have to go back to that point to try and renew her interest.

First and foremost, don’t plead with her. That is a sure-fire turn-off. You immediately paint yourself as pitiful and you abdicate any negotiating position. Begging her to come back to you will cost you any respect she may have for you and your self-respect as well.

If she is a really “up-front” person, you should ask her to meet with you, maybe over dinner at a favorite restaurant. Meeting in a noisy bar or hangout wouldn’t be a smart idea. You want a reasonably quiet, friendly place, preferably one with some fond memories for both of you.

If you have something to feel contrite about, apologize to her at the outset. Then state your case, recalling the many good aspects of your relationship.

Make the point that you shared so much good that it would be a shame not to work on overcoming the negative issues together and make your relationship the best it can be for both of you.

Another tactic is a third-party intervention. This can be either direct or indirect. A mutual friend can suggest directly that “you guys were such a good couple; it is sad that you don’t get back together. I know (your name here) talks about you all the time and how much he misses you.”

A less direct approach would be for that friend to frequently comment on what a nice couple you were together. They could go on to say, “It’s a shame that you never worked out your differences.”

If they report back that there is any sign of interest, you should be on it in a flash while the thought is still fresh in your ex-girlfriend’s mind.

Okay, you’ve made the connection; now what is the next step? Make sure you have a plan. Just like in any presentation, unless you are an improvisational phenomenon, you should have a well thought-out agenda for your first meeting.

You should use a tried-and-true method like the “Ho-Hum Formula” for public speaking: Use an attention-getting opening statement, tell them why you are there, go into the body of your speech and then close with a reaffirmation of why you are there.

As neophyte salesmen are admonished, “Don’t forget to ask for the sale!” If there is interest, ask for a reconciliation with your sweetheart. If the response is ambivalent or negative, you should determine why this is her response so you know what your next step will be.

Unless your sin was totally unforgivable, you should be able to generate interest in a renewed relationship. If you lay out the good reasons to reconnect and you promise to resolve all of your problems, you should be successful.

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